The Dominique Octave blog is back, and it is back with a bang. Did you miss me.
Since I last wrote, I turned 30, bought my first property and launched ‘CUL/TURE, a Conscious Interruption’. I am about to formally qualify as a solicitor and I am starting a dream job in September. God has been so good. As life does, the good comes with the bad and it definitely has not been plain sailing… My final exams were the toughest I had ever experienced, my sweet uncle Ev passed and balancing has been a real struggle.
A constant theme in the last year or so has been navigating singleness… so let’s get into it. Here are some things I have noticed/struggled with, and some antidotes I have found helpful.
- Loneliness is a real thing
I used to think that loneliness was reserved for (I dunno) single adults 50/60 and above… I was wrong. There have been times when the feeling is so pervasive that it affected work life, my self-esteem, social skills and more. I felt so down because it really just felt like I was alone. You can be surrounded by family and friends and still feel this way. I think it is because not having someone just interested in basic things concerning you, like, the things you struggled with or made you happy in a day… the things you are proud of yourself for or things that made you sad in a day. We were created for companionship after all so it is no wonder.
An antidote – Have meaningful interactions with friends (brunch, just chilling), invest in fitness (spending me-time at the gym helps) and having a routine for your days (so idle time doesn’t creep in – that is when loneliness is at its peak).
- Give your desires to God
Anything from physical desires, to (in my case for example) a desire to hang out listening to music and vibing with a significant other. I literally toyed with the idea of having a short term summer bae to get these things. But I think my desire for love and for the real thing, outweighs short term gratification. This is further cemented by the fact that I want to please God and you know how it is, when God tells you not to do something, you get burnt, damage is caused and then you have to go back and repent… yeah, really can’t afford to do that.
An antidote – whatever your desires are, they are real so acknowledging them is not a bad thing. Once acknowledged, bring it to God in prayer, there is grace. When you pray expect peace to override what you feel – God promises He will give it to you (Philipians 4:6-7).
- Finding love, dating?
Oooo chile…. At the time of writing this blog, this is where I currently am and I would say that if I had an antidote, I would be lying. This phase is proper rough. My personal opinion is that there are so many options for men – so why pursue a woman? I have done my share of being the first one to text, I have explored dating apps and my insta is not private, so I wouldn’t say that I am idle. Maybe there is something else I am doing wrong haa. But here is where I land on this – “The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” – Isaiah 60:22
Ladies and gents, there are so many unexplainable things that have happened in my life that I can only attribute to the miraculous work of the Lord, so why not the same in dating and finding someone? The best thing you can do as God works on your behalf is heal, grow, learn, walk in your calling, have faith and don’t doubt, be joyful, kind and loving. Enjoy your singleness, be available and open to partner with God in this area of your life, pray about your future and be expectant as you live your miracle real time.
Until next time.
Love,
Dom
10 Comments
Mitchell
Love the honesty.my background is African and In our community we never talk about acknowledgment of what we’re feeling. It’s nice to see the generation is going the right way forward and still trying to figure out this life on earth.
Gods going to bless you in all areas for sure 🙌🏾
Dominique Octave
Thank you Mitch 🤍 it’s so true that our parents generation were more closed. But there are some things that shouldn’t be a mystery … we need legit help 😅.
God bless you xx
Shoshanna Hudson
So glad you’re writing again! This was such a good read, I know I’m not technically the target audience for this but defo still had some good tips that I’ll be taking on board!
Dominique Octave
Thank you Shan 🤍
Haaa yes you are firming out of the club (praise dances), but thank you for reading nonetheless & glad you could take some nuggets. Xx
Adrian
Your sincerity and sense of integrity made this a refreshing read 🙂
Consider this, might it be that because of your character, and Christian sensibilities, God has determined to prepare a heart so filled with Himself so that this man might become worthy of being both partner and godly companion to you?
Such a man takes time to build; he is rare. Proverbs 20:6 states: “Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?”.
I encourage you to see this season not as a reflection of any personal failing or unfulfilled dream, but rather as a time where is God working carefully, sensibly and thoroughly to put forward an offer to you that is entirely irresistible and the embodiment of all your prayers and supplications.
Also, please write more!
Dominique Octave
Thank you 🥺 honestly made my heart smile reading this, I appreciate it. I can only Amen all you have said. God never stops working and I know that He has something great for us all.
Thanks again for reading and commenting 🤍🙏🏾
Sam Dos Santos
You won’t remember this, but I met you for the first time when I helped you carry jugs of water into that meeting room. After all, you are a super woman but you only have two hands!
Following that brief interaction with you I was like WoW – so much power and amazing energy. Sadly, most people aren’t cut out to deal with such power, such energy. It’s intimidating!
|because| of that, you’re likely to intimidate potential partners. But also, BECAUSE of that, you will attract the right one(s)! It’s life way of filtering out the good from the bad!
It’s how it goes with your friends and acquaintances. The worthy ones don’t stay around despite the above, but BECAUSE of the above!
Hold tight! Enjoy the ride! Have fun!
BEST wishes from me and my 4 cats. 😘
Dominique Octave
Hiii Sam and your 4 cats 🫶🏾
You are such a genuine and beautiful person! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am definitely trying my best to enjoy the journey 🤍
See you soon xx
Tayla
Ah Dommy this is worded so wonderfully and just honestly. I’m sure this is such a huge universal feeling and it’s such a beautiful thing to be able to share from our hearts. So proud that you are leaving it all to God because what He has planned for you is PERFECT and I know I will love my future bro IL
Dominique Octave
My Tee babes xx
And I’m certain he will love you back (he has no choice lol)
Xx