Heartbreak to Wholeness: A Christian’s Perspective (Part Two)

In continuation from last week’s blog, there are a few more points I wanted to touch on when it comes to dealing with heartbreak and rejection and truly being able to move on. It is one thing to heal and another thing to move on and leave behind even the hope of being in relationship with *insert your person’s name*. Here’s some things that have helped me to heal, to move on and achieve wholeness.

Counselling

Heartbreak for me is a type of trauma and sometimes in order to deal with the root of the trauma, we have to go through counselling. Counselling really helped me to deal with all of the emotions I had been feeling and I was able to talk through issues even beyond the heartbreak. I learned new things about myself and I was able to deal with some of the horrible parts of my personality in addition to trauma and hurts from my childhood. Moving on is not about leaving the past in the past necessarily, I encourage you to face the past, the hurts and the emotions associated before you put it behind you. Counselling is a truly humbling, revealing experience. If you are used to having walls up like me, be prepared for those to come down. (Side note – finding the right counsellor is key!)

Praise and Worship

When we praise God we take the focus off the situation and shift it to the Lord. The Bible says we should come before God with thanksgiving and praise (Psalm 100:4), God loves our worship and in fact the Bible says that God is enthroned/inhabits the praise of His people (Psalm 22:3). With your praise, you invite God in and where God is, there is freedom (2 Chronicles 3:17). Throw on a worship playlist and sing and dance. Also pray out loud the scriptures, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12); the Word of God is so powerful.

Focus on your Purpose

You have an assignment and a calling that is waiting for you. What has helped me is focusing and doing the things God has called me to. When you are walking in your purpose it is so fulfilling and ultimately that’s where you want to get to. God will ensure that there is covering and provision. You will have an ‘in spite of’ testimony, in spite of the pain I was feeling, by God’s grace I was able to start my business, reach my weight loss goal etc. 

My testimony is in spite of the pain, this year I did a headline show, I opened for PJ Morton in January (a dream come true), I took on more responsibility in my job and created this website and blog that you are reading right now. These are just a few examples of God’s goodness to me, and even within these examples there are more testimonies of how God sent me help at just the right time. I encourage you, focus on your dreams and your ministry. Start the blog, make the business plan, get into the studio, apply for the job you may be under qualified for. 

Another topic I wanted to address, a big one which held me back…

Dealing with the hope of the relationship coming back

Wewww. In some circumstances, separation from a person is for a season and sometimes it is a complete and total cut off. Either way, you cannot control how another person feels about you or manipulate the situation so y’all end up coming together; unfortunately it just does not work like that. No one wants to walk away from someone they love and a relationship that you wanted to be life long. My story was just that, and I held on to the hope of the relationship for such a long time and it was painful. The Bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12), when your heart is sick it leaves you with such a longing and emptiness. What that means is that you hold on and hold on, latch on to words/actions of the other person and you have an overactive imagination. How do we overcome this, actually let go. Actually, give it to God. Actually close the door and keep moving forward; set boundaries and stick to them. In my last post I said, what is for you will not pass you, and it won’t. Be still and know that God is God (Psalms 46:10) and He is able to do more than you can ask, imagine or think (Ephesians 3:20), the battle is not yours, it is the Lord’s (2 Chronicles 20:15). Prayer is your weapon, the Bible says the prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16). Pray: Lord help me to let go fully, help my will to be conformed to yours, I want the relationships that you want for me. I give you this situation(s) and I ask you to turn it around for my good.

And sooo in closing, the journey to wholeness is just that, a journey. When we are dealing with heartbreak, rejection and betrayal, it takes time so give yourself the grace and be kind to yourself because it is not easy. Please comment below if these blogs have been helpful to you and please do email me any prayer requests (hellodominiqueoctave@gmail.com). 

Love, 

Dominique x