Heartbreak to Wholeness: A Christian’s Perspective (Part One)

I want to be as open and honest in this blog and I have been really nervous. This blog is all about relationships and how we can go from heartbreak to wholeness. In our adult life, at some point we’ll come across rejection and heartbreak in some form. A significant moment for me came last year when a relationship that I had hoped would be life-long broke down and I think it was the lowest time of my life. The effect of rejection and heartbreak for me meant, I had lost a bunch of weight, lost my self confidence, I felt so worthless and empty, I was in a place of desperation and just to do a day (at work, food shopping etc) was so hard because I was totally consumed by the pain of it all. I am telling you this not to feel sorry for me in any way, but to be honest about what goes on behind the scenes and I know that this is not just my reality, but it has happened to so many of us. 

I realised that as many resources as there are online, there aren’t many on how to deal with heartbreak and break ups. As with any matter of the heart, it is a pain you cannot see and everyone’s situation is different but I wanted to share some of the things that have helped me on this journey from heartbreak to wholeness. 

Get a strong support network and prayer partner(s)!

I remember at first I found it difficult to be alone, but my sisters and my friends were there for me. I literally would be around them all of the time. Also, it is really important to get you some friends who can pray with you and intercede on your behalf.

Give it to Jesus and Let go

The Bible says to cast your burdens unto Jesus and He will sustain you (Psalm 55:22). We are not supposed to carry the weight of our problems, the Lord wants us to give every situation to Him. In that moment, know that when you give it to God (and this might be a process), you have to be still (Psalm 46:10) and allow God to work on your heart and the situation. Something which encouraged me is that, there is a time for all things, there may be pain now but there will be joy (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 & Psalm 30:5). Let go totally and let God heal you and do what only He can. In all honesty, I held on for a really long time when God told me to let go and to me it didn’t make sense and here is the thing, sometimes it just won’t make sense in the moment but maybe it will years later. Be encouraged, what is for you will not pass you and what God has for you is the best. Trust God and be obedient to what He says and His timing because He promises that “all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Forgiveness 

This is a big one. It is imperative for you to forgive the person who hurt you and then forgive yourself. We are all sinners and we are not perfect and in fact the Bible commands us to forgive so we can be forgiven by God (Matthew 6:14 & Luke 6:37). Forgiveness allows you to be set free, holding on to offence causes bitterness and that is only a set back for you and not the other person. The Lord says that He has given us a spirit of love, power and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). This means we can reject rejection, bitterness, fear and unforgiveness. Forgiveness usually is not a one time event, Jesus says we have to forgive a person up to seventy times seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). I will go even further here and say pray for this person or persons. Jesus commands “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). If you are struggling, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. It is so possible, pray for them and ask God to keep them and cover them.

Ask God – what do you want me to learn from this situation? 

God doesn’t put more on us than we can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), He corrects those He loves (Hebrews 12:6) and though correction doesn’t feel good at the time, “it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). There is something to learn from the relationship, the breakdown, the rejection and the break up which is going to cause you to level up and produce a harvest of righteousness and peace. No situation is wasted in your life and God is able to make all things new (Revelation 21:5) and He is able to turn it around for your good so He can get the glory. Being on the lookout for lessons rather than thinking about all the things you lost, allows you to keep moving forward. The enemy wants to keep you in a place of stagnation and being stuck, but God is taking you from strength to strength and from glory to glory (Psalm 84:7); so keep moving. 

I thought I lost so much and even today I still feel I did lose a lot, let me not lie to yall. Relationships are investments and take work and if you have been in one for years that ends up breaking down, it is really hard. But be encouraged, do not count it as loss, count it as gain. The Lord will restore all that you lost (maybe not in the way you expect – stay prayerful and open to what God has for you) and cause heartbreak to be a catalyst for your breakthrough. The end of one chapter and the start of a beautiful new one, my prayer for you and for me too. My prayer also is that this blog post blesses you and encourages you to walk in wholeness after any kind of rejection or heartbreak. You got this! Comment below and email me or reach out via social media (@dominique.octave on insta) if you enjoyed this blog.

I didn’t want this blog to be too long so I wasn’t able to get everything in so… Stay tuned for part two next week.